Ninja Monkey vs. Busy Times

I am sorry to my poor blog and to my friends who keep yelling at me to blog. Illness, cute new family members, work, drifting between residences, job changes, house hunting with my boyfriend and wedding planning for my best friend have been occupying all of my time. I will get more of the good old fashioned Ninja Monkey humor rolling again soon.

My desk will be set up again soon with my own computer and everything so watch out Internet cause this ninja's about to go crazy on you. You won't even know what happened, don't believe me? Ask Orion...one day you will be relaxing in front of the television or hanging out with a good book and then you will be all like hey what was that? By the time you feel the throwing stars in your back or the punch to the top of the head it will be much to late. You will have been ninja owned, ninja owned indeed my friend. As one of my favorite ninjas, Robin of Loxley, would say Ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaa! You love me, no really you do.

Now to go get my coffee on! Ninjas are useless without caffeine.

Ninja Monkey vs. Funny Doctors

I have managed to injure myself again. While walking last Thursday I managed to tear a few ligaments and stretch my nerves in my right foot/ankle. Immediately after this happened my foot went numb and felt like it was chilling in a bucket of ice. I went to the ER where I met a nice older doctor who decided that my foot was too weird to diagnose and sent me home with crutches and said go see your foot specialist as soon as possible.

I saw my foot specialist this morning. He helped me with a previous injury to my FHL tendon. If anything is ever wrong with my foot I will only see him. I was bounced from specialist to specialist a few years ago and no one could figure out what was causing all of the pain I was experiencing. Within minutes he diagnosed my problem and worked with me to eventually fix my FHL tendon. I did have to cut the other doctors some slack though, since the injury I somehow developed is only seen in ballerinas and I am no ballerina. I promise.

My foot doctor checked me out today and said no more crutches but put me in a very sexy boot that I must wear for an undetermined amount of time. I wish that it was more of a cowboy boot but c'est la vie.
I was thinking about a few of the things that doctors have been saying to me lately and decided to jot them down.

"Your foot looks weird"

"Your foot is puzzling"

"In 31 years I have never seen or heard of that injury before"

and my favorite from today's appointment...

"Your foot is a wonderful mystery to me"

I guess that if anything I keep these guys on their toes. I just wish I did not leave every doctor visit lately feeling like no one knows what is wrong or what to do with me. My ear nose and throat doctor said "you are the exception to the rule I'm afraid" a few weeks ago after trying to treat my migraines and failing miserably and I am still waiting to see the next specialist for that problem.

My foot man said today that he is writing down that I have a severe sprain and nerve damage but said that it was a cop out because that is probably not what is going on in my foot but he needs more information before he can try to figure it out.

I guess I will keep on trucking and hope that they get me sorted out. I hope to one day go for at least one whole week without seeing a doctor. It would also be nice to get a diagnosis from a single physician. I am tired of being bounced from specialist to specialist.

Good night gentle readers. I am off to my bedroom.

Please send me your favorite books and movies to keep me occupied at night when I am stuck in bed with my foot up for the next couple weeks. Tonight I plan on watching one of these...

I have not decided which one yet. I will also be working on some song writing, they might be a bit rough since I am stuck in bed and on pain meds but maybe, just maybe, I will produce some musical gold.

With great boredom comes a great amount of blogging...stay tuned :)

And the Winner Is....

Meredith B is our lucky ducky. Her favorite item was Purple Cowgirl!

Congrats Meredith! Hopefully, Meredith will send me some photos modeling her See Monkey Bead jewelry so I can post them for everyone to see! You can also check out Meredith's blog at http://allofmypurplelife.blogspot.com

Thank you to everyone for participating and for the birthday wishes!

Ninja Monkey vs Birthday GIVE AWAY

In honor of my birthday tomorrow, I will be giving away one piece of jewelry (up to $25.00) from my Etsy shop.

Here are the rules:

You must visit my shop and then come back to my blog and leave a comment on this post with the name of your favorite item by midnight EST on my birthday (April 30th) . I will choose the winner on Friday May 1st by using a random number generator. I will post the lucky ducky Friday evening.


Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday Ninja Monkey, Happy birthday to me!

Now for a birthday mojito...yum yum Y-U-M!!!!

Ninja Monkey vs. Crazy People

Lately it seems like people are becoming more and more hostile. During the last month I have personally been screamed at and flipped off by strangers more times than the rest of my life combined. I find myself wondering if a small dose of the rage virus has been slipped into the water supply of central Ohio. It starts out with people being horrible to complete strangers for no reason and pretty soon we are going to be overrun with zombies!

So here are some Ninja Monkey tips for preventing rage infection:

-Stop and think before you scream at someone, if you do not master your rage then your rage will be your master. The terribly mysterious Sphinx gave me that advice.

-Take a deep breath and realize that you are most likely angry at something else and not the current situation. Maybe work is not going so great, or you lost your dog or your favorite team is not preforming or your grandma was turned into a zombie. All of these things are unfortunate but they do not give you license to be a jerk.

-Find more useful things to do with your middle finger. You could use it to greet people like Mork from Ork, or throw a peace sign or even to put on a neighborhood shadow puppet show.

If you encounter someone who is acting crazy and trying to make you as angry as they are, just ignore it and keep a close eye on them. If they turn there is only one solution....

ZOMBIE DANCE SEQUENCE!!!!



C'mon people now smile on your brother everybody get together try to love one another right now!

Ninja Monkey vs Astrological Pets

Liz's newest post on Breathe It All In has inspired me to post about what pets I think are right for me. According to this article I am best suited by a Pomeranian. All I can think when I imagine this type of dog is a tiny yip yip machine that will most likely be grumpy and nip at people and all that hair....no thanks!










This Taurus has already decided what pets she will be adopting in the future. I am a dog person, there is no doubt there. Dogs are great, silly, loyal, and always entertaining. Even when they are being total beasts!

My first pup will be a whippet named after this guy...

Salacious B Crumb was Jabba the Hutt's court jester and I thought he was funny when I was a kid watching the Star Wars movies. Whippets remind of Crumby, but much more cute.

I am also looking to get a cute weimaraner named after one of my favorite Lord of the Rings characters, Gandalf the Gray.


Yes, I am a huge, huge nerd and my pets will have the greatest names of all time!

Ninja Monkey vs Cute Kids

I am probably biased but I think that my sisters have made some pretty cute kidlets(my word for cute kid types) Lately, I have been hearing some really funny stories about my nephew, Atticus Finch, and his brother, Harper Lee, and their cousin, Celeste. Yes, my little sister really likes To Kill A Mockingbird.

Last week my mom was driving around town with the kids when Atticus said something mean to Celeste. After overhearing that he hurt Celeste's feelings grandma stepped in and told him to kiss and make up. Atticus leans over, gives Celeste a kiss, and then says "I'm sorry Celeste, and I will put on your make-up later"

A few days later they are out driving with my aunt, Kelli, and one of her grand kids, Corbin, who had a cold. He sneezed and Atticus says "Uh Kelli, you should do something, its disgusting back here." She laughs and wipes the nose of her grandchild. Then Atticus declares "Its OK though, because it is our disgusting" So I guess blood is thicker than snot in the eyes of my nephew.

Over the weekend my mom who the kids call Nanu (as in Mork's greeting) took all Celeste, Atticus and Harper all to see their great-grandma. They were there for a while visiting when my older sister, January, came to pick up Celeste. She walked in and said hello to everyone and gave Atticus a hug. Atticus stared at her and slowly backed away to my mom and whispered "Nanu, who is that?" My mom laughed and told him it was his Aunt Jan. He didn't recognize her because she was wearing her glasses.


My friend Melissa has two sons, Bryan and Lucas. After not seeing me for a while, Bryan asked his mom who I was. She said that's your Aunt Brandi. To which he replied "Oh yeah! I thought I recognized those freckles!" I laughed for like ten minutes.


I have come to the conclusion that kids are hilarious!

Ninja Monkey vs Travel Plans

Ninja Monkey looks at long long list of travel goals and sighs...

I do think I have traveled more that a lot of people and it seems that I am still not satisfied. I did check off a few of my must visit places last fall when I went to France, England, Ireland and Scotland. I've done Canada and Mexico and various spots around the US of A but I still have many many places left that I want to visit.

-Australia
-Japan
-China
-New Zealand
-Egypt
-Greece
-Italy
-Easter Island
-Hawaii
-Russia
-Germany

Really I would like to go everywhere I possibly can. I also have this problem of wanting to keep going back to certain places. I fell in love with Chicago when I was 16 and have been there many, many times and plan to keep going back as much as possible. San Francisco has also captured my heart and I long to go back and explore more of California. I really like NYC, there is always something new to see and do. I also go to Carolina in my mind a few times a week. One day I would like to move down to the Raleigh area.

This summer I have plans to visit Seattle and do a road trip through PA, NY and Maine. Stopping in a few various places to visit friends and catch some shows. I do not anticipate getting out of the country this year since I am still paying for my trip to Europe last year. C'est la vie.

I will make my way around the world spreading the great ninja monkey spirit.

Ninja Monkey vs Snow Day

So I am stuck at home alone today due to some ice and snow. By some I mean about an inch of ice and many inches of snow. I have also been pretty sick for a couple weeks. What is a bored and sick girl to do? I was inspired by some of my friends to start a blog. So here it is... My first blog. I know you are excited.

I am not really sure how this all works, so for now I say hi! I am Ninja Monkey I fight many battles, and I will keep you posted on my various opponents and the outcomes good or bad.

Today's opponent: The dreaded Snow Day. I remember the good old days when Ninja Monkey loved spending time with Snow Day. Missing school, sled riding, playing all day, drinking hot cocoa, then playing some more. Sadly, both Ninja Monkey and Snow Day have grown up. Snow Day is now just another challenger for Ninja Monkey to face in life's battle.

Round One

Snow Day starts out a little slow by creating just enough sound to be annoying but not quite enough to prevent Ninja Monkey from sleeping. Ninja Monkey looks like she will be well rested and ready for the day. Oh no! Snow Day has made an impressive combo strike. Ninja Monkey's phone rings at 6am. Her CT scan has been canceled. This is a devastating blow for Ninja Monkey, she was depending on the CT scan to help with another fight. The fight against her sinuses. The cancellation of the first appointment led to the cancellation of her follow up visit and now the sinus fight will continue for at least another week. Ninja Monkey tries to get back to sleep but is unsuccessful. Ninja Monkey begins to get ready for work leaving her warm bed and cinnamon scented room and is definitely showing signs of fatigue. Snow Day strikes again! As soon and Ninja Monkey is ready for work, she receives a call saying the office is closed. Round One ends with Ninja Monkey looking pretty tired. She heads back to her corner and her crew tries to get her back into some warm PJs.

Round Two

Snow Day comes out strong in the second round. He is taking away Ninja Monkey's ability to get any work done while at home today. The usual means of working remotely have been blocked by a server error that can only be fixed on site. That was a nice move by Snow Day. Ninja Monkey makes a feeble attempt to try to work on a different system to try to get some other work done and BAM! Snow Day knocks that system offline too! Ninja Monkey uses all of her skill and creativity to make some progress, but Snow Day has knocked her down to the canvas. She is down for 1...2...and she is back on her feet as Round Two closes. Ninja Monkey's coaches set her up with a knit hat and a space heater, they are even pulling out some sugar free hot cocoa. Ninja Monkey looks like she is feeling a little better and is back on her feet and heading back out to fight.

Round Three

Ninja Monkey takes a critical hit! Snow Day throws a wild punch from which Ninja Monkey may not recover. Ninja Monkey is stuck alone in her house at least a day. Everyone Ninja Monkey knows is stuck in various places around the city and none of them can come help her in her battle. Ninja Monkey looks above her head and sees some creepy red letters floating there that read Finish Her... Uh oh, Ninja Monkey is about to be hit with Snow Day's signature Freeze Out finishing move. The Freeze Out is pretty cool to watch, Snow Day takes a bunch of snow flakes and turns them into an ice shuriken which is thrown at the opponent and freezes them from the inside out. Oh no Snow Day has turned Ninja Monkey into a solid block of ice. Fight over, Snow Day has won his victory.

Ninja Monkey stands there encased in ice watching the continue timer counting down and decides to save the rematch for another day.