Ninja Monkey vs. Funny Doctors

I have managed to injure myself again. While walking last Thursday I managed to tear a few ligaments and stretch my nerves in my right foot/ankle. Immediately after this happened my foot went numb and felt like it was chilling in a bucket of ice. I went to the ER where I met a nice older doctor who decided that my foot was too weird to diagnose and sent me home with crutches and said go see your foot specialist as soon as possible.

I saw my foot specialist this morning. He helped me with a previous injury to my FHL tendon. If anything is ever wrong with my foot I will only see him. I was bounced from specialist to specialist a few years ago and no one could figure out what was causing all of the pain I was experiencing. Within minutes he diagnosed my problem and worked with me to eventually fix my FHL tendon. I did have to cut the other doctors some slack though, since the injury I somehow developed is only seen in ballerinas and I am no ballerina. I promise.

My foot doctor checked me out today and said no more crutches but put me in a very sexy boot that I must wear for an undetermined amount of time. I wish that it was more of a cowboy boot but c'est la vie.
I was thinking about a few of the things that doctors have been saying to me lately and decided to jot them down.

"Your foot looks weird"

"Your foot is puzzling"

"In 31 years I have never seen or heard of that injury before"

and my favorite from today's appointment...

"Your foot is a wonderful mystery to me"

I guess that if anything I keep these guys on their toes. I just wish I did not leave every doctor visit lately feeling like no one knows what is wrong or what to do with me. My ear nose and throat doctor said "you are the exception to the rule I'm afraid" a few weeks ago after trying to treat my migraines and failing miserably and I am still waiting to see the next specialist for that problem.

My foot man said today that he is writing down that I have a severe sprain and nerve damage but said that it was a cop out because that is probably not what is going on in my foot but he needs more information before he can try to figure it out.

I guess I will keep on trucking and hope that they get me sorted out. I hope to one day go for at least one whole week without seeing a doctor. It would also be nice to get a diagnosis from a single physician. I am tired of being bounced from specialist to specialist.

Good night gentle readers. I am off to my bedroom.

Please send me your favorite books and movies to keep me occupied at night when I am stuck in bed with my foot up for the next couple weeks. Tonight I plan on watching one of these...

I have not decided which one yet. I will also be working on some song writing, they might be a bit rough since I am stuck in bed and on pain meds but maybe, just maybe, I will produce some musical gold.

With great boredom comes a great amount of blogging...stay tuned :)

Ninja Monkey vs. Crazy People

Lately it seems like people are becoming more and more hostile. During the last month I have personally been screamed at and flipped off by strangers more times than the rest of my life combined. I find myself wondering if a small dose of the rage virus has been slipped into the water supply of central Ohio. It starts out with people being horrible to complete strangers for no reason and pretty soon we are going to be overrun with zombies!

So here are some Ninja Monkey tips for preventing rage infection:

-Stop and think before you scream at someone, if you do not master your rage then your rage will be your master. The terribly mysterious Sphinx gave me that advice.

-Take a deep breath and realize that you are most likely angry at something else and not the current situation. Maybe work is not going so great, or you lost your dog or your favorite team is not preforming or your grandma was turned into a zombie. All of these things are unfortunate but they do not give you license to be a jerk.

-Find more useful things to do with your middle finger. You could use it to greet people like Mork from Ork, or throw a peace sign or even to put on a neighborhood shadow puppet show.

If you encounter someone who is acting crazy and trying to make you as angry as they are, just ignore it and keep a close eye on them. If they turn there is only one solution....

ZOMBIE DANCE SEQUENCE!!!!



C'mon people now smile on your brother everybody get together try to love one another right now!

Ninja Monkey vs Astrological Pets

Liz's newest post on Breathe It All In has inspired me to post about what pets I think are right for me. According to this article I am best suited by a Pomeranian. All I can think when I imagine this type of dog is a tiny yip yip machine that will most likely be grumpy and nip at people and all that hair....no thanks!










This Taurus has already decided what pets she will be adopting in the future. I am a dog person, there is no doubt there. Dogs are great, silly, loyal, and always entertaining. Even when they are being total beasts!

My first pup will be a whippet named after this guy...

Salacious B Crumb was Jabba the Hutt's court jester and I thought he was funny when I was a kid watching the Star Wars movies. Whippets remind of Crumby, but much more cute.

I am also looking to get a cute weimaraner named after one of my favorite Lord of the Rings characters, Gandalf the Gray.


Yes, I am a huge, huge nerd and my pets will have the greatest names of all time!

Ninja Monkey vs Snow Day

So I am stuck at home alone today due to some ice and snow. By some I mean about an inch of ice and many inches of snow. I have also been pretty sick for a couple weeks. What is a bored and sick girl to do? I was inspired by some of my friends to start a blog. So here it is... My first blog. I know you are excited.

I am not really sure how this all works, so for now I say hi! I am Ninja Monkey I fight many battles, and I will keep you posted on my various opponents and the outcomes good or bad.

Today's opponent: The dreaded Snow Day. I remember the good old days when Ninja Monkey loved spending time with Snow Day. Missing school, sled riding, playing all day, drinking hot cocoa, then playing some more. Sadly, both Ninja Monkey and Snow Day have grown up. Snow Day is now just another challenger for Ninja Monkey to face in life's battle.

Round One

Snow Day starts out a little slow by creating just enough sound to be annoying but not quite enough to prevent Ninja Monkey from sleeping. Ninja Monkey looks like she will be well rested and ready for the day. Oh no! Snow Day has made an impressive combo strike. Ninja Monkey's phone rings at 6am. Her CT scan has been canceled. This is a devastating blow for Ninja Monkey, she was depending on the CT scan to help with another fight. The fight against her sinuses. The cancellation of the first appointment led to the cancellation of her follow up visit and now the sinus fight will continue for at least another week. Ninja Monkey tries to get back to sleep but is unsuccessful. Ninja Monkey begins to get ready for work leaving her warm bed and cinnamon scented room and is definitely showing signs of fatigue. Snow Day strikes again! As soon and Ninja Monkey is ready for work, she receives a call saying the office is closed. Round One ends with Ninja Monkey looking pretty tired. She heads back to her corner and her crew tries to get her back into some warm PJs.

Round Two

Snow Day comes out strong in the second round. He is taking away Ninja Monkey's ability to get any work done while at home today. The usual means of working remotely have been blocked by a server error that can only be fixed on site. That was a nice move by Snow Day. Ninja Monkey makes a feeble attempt to try to work on a different system to try to get some other work done and BAM! Snow Day knocks that system offline too! Ninja Monkey uses all of her skill and creativity to make some progress, but Snow Day has knocked her down to the canvas. She is down for 1...2...and she is back on her feet as Round Two closes. Ninja Monkey's coaches set her up with a knit hat and a space heater, they are even pulling out some sugar free hot cocoa. Ninja Monkey looks like she is feeling a little better and is back on her feet and heading back out to fight.

Round Three

Ninja Monkey takes a critical hit! Snow Day throws a wild punch from which Ninja Monkey may not recover. Ninja Monkey is stuck alone in her house at least a day. Everyone Ninja Monkey knows is stuck in various places around the city and none of them can come help her in her battle. Ninja Monkey looks above her head and sees some creepy red letters floating there that read Finish Her... Uh oh, Ninja Monkey is about to be hit with Snow Day's signature Freeze Out finishing move. The Freeze Out is pretty cool to watch, Snow Day takes a bunch of snow flakes and turns them into an ice shuriken which is thrown at the opponent and freezes them from the inside out. Oh no Snow Day has turned Ninja Monkey into a solid block of ice. Fight over, Snow Day has won his victory.

Ninja Monkey stands there encased in ice watching the continue timer counting down and decides to save the rematch for another day.